2009

Ok, so I am going to accept that I have a fear of success and work to fix it. 2009 is my year for success and for the most part, I am trying to not equate success to anything I do professionally.
I have applied for a position that I think is right up my ally and I have untied my inner self from the outcome. I am not going to be a Director this year and I am not going to get a raise no matter how hard I work thanks to the economy and the nature of what I do.

So this year, success is going to be measured in how much weight I lose, how many miles I can run consecutively, whether I can learn to plan, shop for, and prepare cleaner meals, my ability to give up coffee, and stop eating chocolate when I am sad, mad, anxious or bored, and the opportunity to raise myself and my daughter to be healthy people. Success would equate to getting back into college and pursuing my bachelor's degree, while keeping my eye on a Master's program and knowing that I can do it if I want to do it.

Yes sir, my fear of success is a few good shakes from hitting the ground and being left behind and I will not look back upon it.

I am working on selfish.

I talked to a very good friend of mine on the way home from work tonight. Recently, my husband told me that I have a fear of success and my friend lovingly confirmed that. I can succeed if it sets a good example or benefits others, but when it comes to working on my weight and health - well that is selfish and I am not selfish. It confuses me as to why I cannot wrap my arms around being selfish since my parents mastered it, but it was suggested that maybe that is why I find it so difficult. Do they have a book for this?

Sunday Ramblings

To say I am having a lazy weekend would be an understatement. I am clinching every muscle I have watching the Broncos game, so tomorrow I will be sore without breaking a sweat. It is my sincere hope to get off the couch and get some mileage in this afternoon. It looks nice outside and is supposed to be in the 70's on Tuesday, so there is really little excuse for me in the coming days. It is an event week and I do have a parent teach conference for Little this week, but still - no excuses.

So the Broncos - can anyone explain to me why there is so much discussion surrounding Brandon Marshall? I am just not a fan and don't think he outshines any of the other receivers. I think Eddie Royal is doing a bang up job and shows a lot of heart. Speaking of heart, mine is broken looking at Jason Elam in a red and black jersey standing on the Falcons sideline. I cannot imagine how I will feel looking at Matt Holiday playing for another team. Every day is no longer a Holliday for Colorado fans!

A Lazy Day

I am low energy. My mileage today sucked and I do not care! I will suffer later.

Collateral Damage is more than a movie title

So here is where I am with this....My recent plague has wiped out my flex spending, which is how I was paying for my trainer (pre-tax is the only way to go). Not only has it wiped it out, but I also owe out of pocket and yes, I have good insurance that requires me to only pay 20%, however, it is still freaking expensive.

So I am trying not to pout, but the reality is that I am pretty much on my own for the rest of the year. That being said, I walked 2 1/2 miles for exercise tonight and have an overall total of 7 miles for the day. After losing part of my lung, I am thinking that I should focus on good cardio fitness and get myself back to running more than I can right now before I really need to add weight/strength training. And I am saying this because the 2 1/2 miles was kind of tough for me. Or I could be posturing because I am aggravated at the collateral damage caused by my original misdiagnosis. Either way, wish me luck.

Cold Night Air

I ran in the cold dusk air. I ran farther than I have in a long time. I hurt, but it is the good kind. Training with Psycho Barbie is on tap for tomorrow night!

Tomorrow is another day

So we could chalk it up to the cold weather, or the chocolate I ate yesterday, or that I did not drink enough water, or that I did not eat my snack on time (read: at all), or maybe all of these things could be true. My running sucked today and to say I ran would be generous. I did get some mileage in today, but not the right kind. Let's just leave it at tomorrow is another day.

No Sunday Mileage for Me

So I had the notion that I would go to the gym today and get on the treadmill. I have been woken early all weekend by my daughter and the dogs, so to say I am not rested is an understatement. That being said, if I did not work out on the days that I was not rested, my feet would never see my running shoes. So, my husband talked me into taking the dogs and my daughter on her bike around the block for some movement. 1) I was not looking for movement and 2) How does this help me at all when I am already tired? So we got about half a block of my daughter crying when we got to hills, needed to cross the street, or when I went too fast. The dogs were crazed by the fact that she was ahead of us, would not walk with me but instead kept walking circles around me because we were going so slow, and wanted to be on the side that my daughter was riding. Needless to say, I did not get my mileage in today. My goal for tomorrow is to leave the hospital on time and get 3 miles in - whether I have to walk some of it or not.

Goals, Let's Set Some

So today was not an exercise day for me. Unfortunately, I played single Mommy tonight and did not get home early enough to walk the dogs or work out. I feel good though. I did not get any sleep last night and was actually up at 3:30 am with my daughter and then the dogs. I think the exercise is helping the fact that I am not getting 8 hours of sleep a night. So I have decided to spend some time tonight looking at potential races and setting goals.

So let's try the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, Rudolph's Revenge 10K a month later, Frosty's Frozen 10M a month later, Half Marathon(Colfax) in May, and Marathon(Denver) in October.

The Road To The Run

Welcome to my new journal. Unfortunately, I cannot wipe away my previous posts or the political perspectives and I guess I don't want to, but due to the circumstances surrounding the latest election, I have nothing more to say about politics and the ruin we are about endure.

So now this is my journey from the current me to the best possible me. My first goal is a 5k. I am hoping that I can do the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, but am taking things really slowly so as not to injure my lungs. Tonight I ran a 10 minute mile - so it was only for a minute and a half, but I am going to run a 10 minute mile until I can do so for 3.1 miles.

Someone Get Me The Words to the Canadian Anthem

I am looking at electoral votes of 200 to 90. Nothing good can from an Obama Presidency and I am going to have to turn my back on politics. The American people are speaking loud and clear and honestly believe that Obama will not raise their taxes, and have the power to fix social security, health care, and the economy. This is what happens when emotion prevails and destroys all logic. This is great news for anyone not wanting to work hard for a living.

Suggestions for John Kerry's Transvestite Stage Name...

John Kerry lost the election and has working on his persona as a transvestite ever since. If you watched Meet the Press yesterday then you know that he wears more make-up than Bozo the Clown and Leona Helms. Thank God for Fred Thompson and his good ole smart talk.

Election tomorrow. This may be one of my last political posts thanks to the fact that they create political ads that speak to the lowest common denominator of voter.

Shame on the Media, the Politicians, and Who Is Running These Damn Cmapaigns?

I can't day that I am happy with the way this campaign has gone. I almost said campaign year, but for Barack Obama, it has been much longer than that, begging the question as to how his constituents feel about their lack of representation for a large part of time in which he was elected to solely represent them?

Like so many other things, campaigning turned the corner at the very moment that Bill Clinton made a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with saxophone in hand. The integrity of the office continued to decline after he was elected, but that was the single event that made it acceptable for politicians and their campaigns to perform rather than politic.

Mainstream media has played a large part in this election and not from a responsible journalism point of view, but instead they are incredibly biased and one sided - making me miss the professionalism that Tim Russert exhibited all the more. I do not appreciate the sexism of the good ole boys network that NBC has become and feel like Sarah Palin was as good of a choice as anyone else would be. And let's get real, the only reason Joe Biden is on Obama's tickets is because he is as sure as the rest of us that we would be referring to him as President Biden before the end of an Obama term. But who would dare report that? The networks won't even discuss Obama's lack of experience or the fact that he has not authored one piece of legislature or come up with one original idea. Where is the journalism? Where is the story?

I have said this out loud, but I may have to change this blog if the Dems win this one. There would be too much for me to write about when they renege on every promise they made to the naive liberal audience. Joe the Plumber is going to be pissed when they raise the taxes on his $45K salary and he has to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon rather than our beloved Coors. Yes, too large of a target would become a full time job for me and since Barack Obama could not run this country on his own, due to his grotesque lack of experience, we would have 4 more years of the Clinton Administration. That's the bad news....The good news is that there are bj's for everyone!

Fiscal Responsibility And Democrats Don't Mix

Does anyone find it ironic that the same man who has been preaching Fiscal Responsibility for 18 months has gone and paid for 30 minutes of air time on every major station during prime time?

Ironic or hypocracy? It's on the same plane as the DNC inviting Bill Clinton, but not John Edwards to the party. I guess it matters how long ago you cheated on your wife or maybe where you do it makes all the difference.

Someone needs to explain this to me.

I'm Not Voting ON Election Day....

I have no idea why anyone is looking at the market and their long-term investments. One, the market will rebound and best itself. Two, there are 22 days until the most controversial election in my lifetime. Just don't look people, just don't look.

In other news, this will be the first time in my life that I do not drive to my precinct, stand in life, and pull the lever (OK, it is a touch screen, but ya know...). Nope, I am not voting on election day this year. I am participating in the mail in ballot system. I am so conflicted by this in that I think it takes something away from the experience and the honor that is my right to vote. That being said, I have been sick and there are a record number of registered voters, and I cannot stomach the idea of this taking me hours and hours. Oh and did I mention that this is the longest ballot ever?

A Letter To Barack

Dear Mr Obama,

Shut the hell up!

Sincerely,

One of the Few Americans That Can Do Math

Can I Call You Joe?

I have to say that I was not looking forward to the Veep Debate last night. Gov. Palin has not shown great promise in her recent air time and I really could not stomach her being anything short of brilliant. Much to the dismay of mainstream media, her critics, and Senator Biden, she kicked ass.

She had me at "Can I call you Joe?"

Now in all fairness, I am not a fan of Joe Biden. I mean, no one is going to love the sound of his voice as much as he does - and from that perspective, he did not disappoint. Catch phrase of the night "Let me say that again". Yes, Joe - the target audience of a political debate are so obtuse that we require you to repeat yourself at least two or three times before we fully understand what you are saying - Please speak slowly and use small words.

I'm Not Drinking The Obama Kool-Aid

The Bailout Bill did not pass and the Stock Market tanked as a result. In true rebound form, the investors are back to work this morning and the market seems to be recovering.

Later today, Obama is going to announce "his" idea that the FDIC insure $250K, up from the current $100K. So I have two questions for Senator Obama: One, where will the extra $150K come from in the case that we have a Depression like surge on bank monies and Two, why is it that you think that people who have the opportunity to put $250K in a savings account are the same people who are losing their houses and do not have health insurance? Seriously?

This is exactly the fuzzy thinking I talk about when I express my concerns over this man becoming the next President. There is a real crisis in action and Mr. Obama is looking for ways to protect and enhance the upper middle class and is looking to spend money that is not available to do it.

I saw one of his commercials this morning talking about health care. Now he is suggesting that insurance companies cover pre-existing conditions. Again, who is going to pay for this? The insurance companies are going to pass that cost along to business and private customers. How is that good for us?

I cannot talk with my mother anymore that she is not trying to cram Obama down my throat. I equate it to the Born Again Christan extremist. Of course, I ask her why she is so passionate about the Obama/Biden ticket and she cannot articulate why they would be ok, which reduces our conversation to her telling me that of course I will vote with the Republican party line because I am without the ability to have an open mind. I truly believe that these people would drink the poisoned Kool-Aid without knowing why they are doing it, just because Barack says so. It is bizarre to me. I am just not taken with him and have given him every opportunity to WOW me. He is the boss that takes your idea to the Board and presents it as his own. He is going to raise taxes across the board, that is the only way he will be able to fund all the plans that he touts. People who make $250K are smart enough to protect that money from taxes and that population is not large enough to carry the rest of us on their backs. Open Your Eyes People - Make Him Explain His Math Before You Drink the Kool-Aid.

Debate #1

I did not want to watch the Debate, but I am so glad I did. It furthered my support for John McCain and proved that without a teleprompter and prepared speech, Barack Obama is a stuttering suit. Obama is ruffled and frustrated and talks in a circle. I have heard over and over this week that his supporters are inspired. I continue to ask what about him inspires them and they cannot answer that question any better than Obama has answered the debate questions this evening.

What makes a junior Senator from Illinois think that he is prepared to lead us in this time? He has not written one piece of legislation and in fact, rather than going to Washington to work on a fix for the financial industry, he went to Debate Camp. By the way, they will have to send him back before we get to Debates 2 through 4.

You got you Nobel Peace Prize, Now Go Away

So this morning, I was pleasantly surprised by breakfast in bed and a dynamic politically charged Sunday morning. First up, Meet The Press now moderated by Tom Brokaw with former Vice-President Al Gore. Although Brokaw did a great job of hard hitting journalism, he does not seem fully comfortable in the chair once occupied by his great friend. In true form, Al Gore was unable to answer questions beyond the rhetoric that he must be practicing in the mirror each and every day. The best was when Mr. Brokaw asked Big Al what he and Tipper needed with 10,000 square feet for the two of them. Can you say Deer in Headlights?