Saturday, January 3, 2009

2009

Ok, so I am going to accept that I have a fear of success and work to fix it. 2009 is my year for success and for the most part, I am trying to not equate success to anything I do professionally.
I have applied for a position that I think is right up my ally and I have untied my inner self from the outcome. I am not going to be a Director this year and I am not going to get a raise no matter how hard I work thanks to the economy and the nature of what I do.

So this year, success is going to be measured in how much weight I lose, how many miles I can run consecutively, whether I can learn to plan, shop for, and prepare cleaner meals, my ability to give up coffee, and stop eating chocolate when I am sad, mad, anxious or bored, and the opportunity to raise myself and my daughter to be healthy people. Success would equate to getting back into college and pursuing my bachelor's degree, while keeping my eye on a Master's program and knowing that I can do it if I want to do it.

Yes sir, my fear of success is a few good shakes from hitting the ground and being left behind and I will not look back upon it.